Picking Yourself Up after Failure
When I decided to become an author, when I wrote my first book (still sitting unpublished BTW). I never imagined how impossibly hard the as-fault of failure would feel when you hit it face first. Especially after climbing atop that self important pedestal you climb on when writing.
Now don’t get me wrong, and please comment below if I am wrong. But lets all be real who hasn’t self righteously climbed atop the pedestal of ‘I am the god of novel writing all must kneel before me’???? At one point in their writing career? I know I have, and I know I have fallen from that pedestal. I have been pushed from said pedestal, and I have tripped off, slipped off, and generally been kicked off by my ignorance.
They are not pretty stories my falls from grace, and they are not happy stories. But they are learning opportunities. And after so many failures I know one thing… I am NOT the god of novel writing. At
best I am mire minion hoping in vain some little recognition from the greats that have come before me and those on their to greatness as they pass me by.
Again don’t get me wrong, I am not trying for sympathy when I tell you this. What I am saying is failure, although it is said is not an option, it is however, inevitable. It is what you do with that failure, do you lay face first on the cement breathing in the stench of the failure. Or do you get up and look around at what brought you to this point in your life.
I bet you would be surprised by how many people are there with you. Not because they are failures too, but because they are learning something from their situations.
Because guess what? Failure doesn’t have to be a failure unless you lay there face first eyes downcast refusing to look anywhere but at the fact you have failed. And trust me I have lain in that spot before, for years at a time. My weight is a great example, and publishing my books is another. I sat on the fence about self publishing for eight months before finally going ‘Indie’ and that was one of the best decisions I ever made. But I waited those eight months because of a failure in a writing contest, where I put way to much stock into what one…one judge said.
And lately I have suffered from writers block because of a bad review, one bad review. But with my head down staring at the as-fault of failure the heights of success completely un-attainable. Why? Because I am starring at the FREAKING ground!
So having said all that, picking yourself after failure isn’t easy. It isn’t pretty, and it sure the hell isn’t something people like to to admit they do. It is humiliating, but as mentioned earlier a necessary evil to move forward.
Do you think the great’s in the world didn’t fail? Because they did, they even had EPIC fails. Nothing that comes to mind right now ;). But they did, and so will you and I. And its okay, so kiss the cement of failure promise to be back. Then stand up and look around because your not alone. Don’t look up, that height of success is way to far up at the moment. Right now you need to enjoy the smaller things, and take a couple of deep breaths and know that it’s okay to fail.
The most important part of failure is to learn what you did wrong, learn what needs to be done right. Take away something from the failure that makes it not a failure but a learning experience.
Someone recently asked me what I considered SUCCESS to be?!?!
Money? Fame? Recognition? Best Sellers list? Becoming a household name? My books on everyone’s bedside? Or on everyone’s ereader? Being recognized when I go to the grocery store? Always getting 5 star reviews on each and every book I publish (Yes I have thought this through a little.)
But do any of things matter? I would have to say yes, otherwise why would I have thought of them. But do they really mean SUCCESS?
Here is a little unknown secret that not many writers and authors want people to know. Everyone has the ability to write. WHAT?
I know, it’s shocking right?
But here is the part that pulls an author apart from a ‘writer’. Imagination, and follow through. Anyone can put their ass in a chair and write. But can you finish?
Ahhhh there it is… the crutch the mystical piece that eludes, that slips through the fingers, that makes writers, and novices and want to be authors cry into unfinished works in progress. The mystical ‘THE END’.
It is so freaking hard to finish a 90,000 word manuscript. To have characters living in your head to get those characters stories out and on the page in a way which makes sense and not a jumbled multi-personality mess; that is a SUCCESS. Even if that story never sees the light of press that is a SUCCESS. Taking something from just an idea, a glimmer to a roaring fire. That is SUCCESS.
That is what SUCCESS is to me. Every time I write: THE END I am a success.
I may never be a bestseller, or a household name. But I’ve succeeded in doing something I never thought possible. I’ve written (as of this blog post 4 novels), that is SUCCESS. And I am a proud Indie published author.
So let me know what you consider SUCCESS to be?
Post it below, be proud, stand up and shout it out loud!!!
Where you can find me
What I’ve learned from watching Criminal Minds
And how they’ve made my writing better.
In case you don’t know Criminal Minds is a television show about a group of FBI agents who profile serial killers. Now that I’ve explained that to you I should also tell you that you should crawl out from the rock you’ve been living under.
I mean who doesn’t know what Criminal Minds is? I mean it’s on syndication and on like ten different cable/satellite channels any given time any given day of the week. So look it up ladies and gentleman you have no idea what you are missing. And here is why…
- Things can always be worse.
- Always, I mean ALWAYS double check the locks.
- It doesn’t always end with a happy ending.
- When there’s a twist… The evidence (the smallest pieces) are all there. You have to be able to follow the bread crumbs back.
- The bad guys have to have a purpose and a reason.
- And last but not least… anyone can be a bad guy so watch the f*&^ out.
What I’ve learned in the years I have watched Criminal Minds
Do you have a favorite show, or do you watch Criminal Minds? And if so has it influenced your writing in anyway? Let me know below.
And watch out because like #6 says anyone can be the bad guy… you might just be in one of my novels as the one who did it, in the study with the lead pipe. Please tell me you got that reference…
Where you can find me
The Balancing Act
How to not get lost in the shuffling act.
You know that shuffling act between being a fulltime wife/mother/day worker (computer programmer/computer analyst/janitor/teacher/graphic designer/engineer/ PR/truck driver) and the part time evening night worker of being an Author/blogger/and Marketer of your work.
Writing it out is overwhelming enough much less actually living it.
Life is overwhelming, and often impossible and a shuffling act any elite juggler would envy. So how do you handle the shuffling act between the fulltime act and the part-time passion?
Now this isn’t some silly blog that is going to tell you to set appropriate goals, and set aside time for yourself and cut yourself slack. No I’m not going to tell you to be realistic about your goals, and the time you have during your day. I’m really going to give it to you straight. So put your big girl panties on and let’s get started.
You’re about to hear some old things, and some new things. But I certain hope you hear something that you can use.
- Set realistic goals. –Sit down today right now and right down what your goals are for the remainder of 2014 do you have Conferences you want to attend in the next 12 months. Books sales increase that are driving you to do what you are doing? Increase in readership? What are your goals for the next 12 months? Right the suckers down.
- Do you have a Budget for your writing career? (You better have a budget for your writing career if not now is the time to get one. Set that thing up. Go do it now, I’ll wait….)
- Do you have a calendar? Put one together, I have a calendar for my work schedule, personal stuff (family, and my own stuff) blog, and misc., then I have a calendar where I put everything together. Yes that is 4 calendars, but it makes it so I don’t miss anything. It’s called a Balancing Act for a reason… (Again, do you have one? If not go set one up for the next week, I’ll wait…)
- Calendaring/Stickers/Loving your calendars (see below)
- How many email accounts do you have? (And how often do you go through them?)
- Do you To Do? You should To-Do… (Again, I’ll wait.) Are you tired yet? Because if you didn’t have even one of things above and stopped to do them you should be just a little tired. Getting yourself organized is tiring but it’s worth it. In my article Do you To-Do I explain how important it is to have a buy into to your author business.
- Now put all this together in a 3 ring binder. And this is the beginnings of your balancing act.
- Calendaring – This is one of the most important parts of the balancing
Why is Calendaring the most important part you may ask? Or is this self-explanatory? Keeping track of all the important moments coming and past.
So how many calendars do you have?
How many do you need?
Let me know? And if you ever see me stop me and check mine out. I have to admit, it’s pretty impressive with stickers and notes. I would honestly be lost without it.
Where you can find me
Do you To-Do? Because You Should To-Do…
I know it’s strange, but this is important to staying organized. I date and To-Do first thing every morning.
Why this is important to my business.
First I need to explain why I consider being an author a business. Because a business brings in money. Not always the same thing just being an author.
Being author is in its basic form an art and be an artist doesn’t always been getting paid, in fact it comes with the saying ‘the starving artist’ right? I have to admit, I love food and the nice (expensive) things of life. So being a non-paid artist (or a starving artist) isn’t going to work for me.
So I had a decision to make, I could continue to be an ‘artist’ or I could make being an author a business and turn it into something that made money.
Guess which one I chose?
Yeah, I chose the business. Does that mean I am no longer an artist? No, but it does mean I am no longer a starving artist but I don’t think I am a traditional artist any longer either. So I don’t know if I like to call myself a full on artist any longer. But a business owner, a business woman, hell yes. A published author? Hell yes. That all makes it a business a authorship business. Kind of a hybrid, like the indie revolution that has rocked through the publishing world in the last several years. This artist/authorship partnership business that makes money is what matters to me know.
And that is where my daily To-Dos come in.
So back to why To-Do’s are so important to your day to day business processes. Because knowing what you’re doing and why you’re doing it every single day with purpose and intent makes sure your business moves forward successfully every single day.
Ahhh that is the important part moving forward with a successful business every single day. Who would have that a To-Do list would help move your business forward? So the question is why…
Knowing what you’re doing with INTENT every day.
With PURPOUS every day.
All of these equal one thing SUCCESS.
So it comes back to… Why? Why you ask.
This is why? Here is an example of my To-Do list.
- Blogs for the Week
- Check Book Sales
- Site5 Website Updates
- Facebook Marketing reveiws
- Book 4 — Deadline Sept. 30th
- Goodreads – Street Team Blog Request
- Edits – Check in
My INTENT is knowing exactly what is going on in my business/authorship my To-Dos keep me focused on what is important. With the PURPOSE of knowing every aspect of my business/authorship all the time.
Knowing the INTENT and the PURPOSE equals SUCCESS.
Who would have thought a To-Do list could have accomplished so much?
So what’s on your To-Do list?
Where you can find me
My iPhone or My Wobee
Otherwise known as “If you can pry if from my cold dead Fingers…”
Do you have something like that? Something you feel you can’t live without? Something you are pretty sure you want to be buried with?
It’s not that my life is in my iPhone, most of it is. But not all. I’m slightly old school I still have a daily planner, okay two. One for my blogging and one for work and one for my personal life stuff okay that makes three, and then I still try to put stuff in my iPhone calendar. But that’s because I have so many things I need to keep track of. And then I don’t miss anything, how can I have so many places to keep track.
I have appointment, and notes, and ideas, to-do lists, that my iPhone just isn’t enough to hold everything. Keep in mind I am a little bit of a tech junkie I have my iPhone, two okay three calendars a Galaxy tablet, two laptops two To-do lists every day and multiple folders and notepads of ideas and lord only knows what else floating around my organized chaos that I call a traveling desk that I take with me every day and everywhere I go.
But then I carry around my beautiful and wonderful iPhone, it holds my music and the pictures. And the special things that just mean home warmth and love and kindness to me.
People I love contact me on my iPhone.
When the world is too much, when I need to get lost?, I turn to my Wobee, I turn to my iPhone and plug in and tune out the world.
I have a spectacular Wonder-Woman case because she is ummm WONDERFUL. I wanted to grow up and be Wonder-Woman when I was a child. And on my good days I like to think I am shades of the great and wonderful woman…(okay I said on my good days, and I said shades…let’s not judge to harshly).
Where you can find me